I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
