The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize