Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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