it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
