Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
