Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Panties = found
Randomize
