Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
