Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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