weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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