My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
