talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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