Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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