He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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