Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
