It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
