Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
