He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
