thus making me awesome and them whores
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want nice things and good sex
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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