.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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