did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
