Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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