She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
