I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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