Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
