at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
