I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i came on her dog
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
