im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
