Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize