After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
