Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I party with great urgency now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
