I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
