So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
