if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
