Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize