Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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