I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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