my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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