I met the friendliest cop last night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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