I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
