So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
