D3 body, D1 cock
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
