Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
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I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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