I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
