speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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