Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
