on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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