I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
