Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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