Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
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The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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