Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
