the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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