It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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