you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
