I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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