Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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