You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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